Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
