I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
