Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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