And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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