alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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