So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
