Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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