go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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