could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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