the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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