Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
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I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
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If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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