Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
