She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
