we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize