I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
