How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
