im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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