you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
