my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
