Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
