maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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