I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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