Tell her she can't have a vagina
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize