SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
