my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
