Kiss
Puke
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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