Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
