Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
