it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
