awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It was like giving head to a cactus.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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