Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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