the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize