No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
