I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
