he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
