he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
