Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
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