I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
