lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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