seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
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White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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