are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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