why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
