Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
