Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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