why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You smell like stripper and shame
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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