Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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