This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
