hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
