Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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