I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
