At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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