If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
