and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
