Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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