I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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