Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize