benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
