How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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