mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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