Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
