too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
