What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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