Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
