what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
