Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
