belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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