Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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