i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
