Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
