Your tits are I can't wait for
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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